I stopped going along with the crowd.

I started realizing that there are a lot of things about myself.

I somewhat wonder where will I be in a year or two.

I am scared because I barely know where I am now.

I started realizing that some people are selfish.

I started thinking that, maybe, those friends I thought to be I’m close to are not exactly the greatest people I know.

I started thinking that, maybe, those friends I’ve lost in touch with are the importants ones.

I look at my job on a 3rd person’s perspective and I am scared.

I miss the comforts of college, of my groups, of me socializing with the same people in consistency.

But I sometimes think that, maybe, they weren’t so great after all.

I’m beginning to understand more of myself.

My opinions are getting stronger.

I feel insecure and secure.

I find myself judging a bit more than usual.

I realized that I have boundaries.

I’ve added a lot to my list of what is acceptable and what is not.

I now laugh and cry with the greatest force of life.

I feel alone, scared and confused.

I suddenly feel that change is the enemy and I try to cling on the past but I realized that the past is drifting further and further.

I got my heart broken and wondered how someone I loved could do such damage.

I sometimes wonder why can’t I meet anyone decent enough to know me better.

Random hook ups start to look cheap.

Getting wasted and acting like idiots start to look pathetic.

I worry about the future and making a life for myself.

What I don’t know is that everyone can relate to this.

We are in our best of times and our worst times.

*sigh*

GET A LIFE

Conscience: Have you ever been in a situation, say at work, where a voice was saying “You deserve better than this.”?

Beejing: Yeah, I have been. A lot of times.

Conscience: Have you been promised at something so seriously?

Beejing: Yes. In fact, I was left in rubble when it vanished into thin air.

Conscience: Have you been treated as inferior?

Beejing: Yes.

Conscience: Are you fed up?

Beejing: I couldn’t say that I am. I’m not sure though.

The past few weeks have been too much for me at work, blogging and bloghopping seems to be an alien activity to me these days. Although I still make it a point to regularly check my dashboard but I haven’t had any new entries. Oh well, to get this done and over with (as I am writing this entry while waiting for an email reply); this entry is dedicated to a long time blogging friend - Winston of BatangYagit.com.

You see voting for this year’s Blogger’s Choice Award for the Philippine Blog Awards is now officially open. Batangyagit is one of the nominees so he’s got my vote - pretty straightforward huh? Lols.

Going through the list of nominees, I’ve noticed a lot of friends who have been nominated too. But you see Batangyagit had me suicidal convinced to vote for him on the following reasons:

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AUGUST RUSH!

Last night I watched the movie August Rush - just in time for August. I thought it would be another feel good movie but I was wrong - I was moved. There were scenes that I had to summon the courage not to cry. The plot is really great,  the actors and actresses were stunning, and the music - it’s amazing. Never have I been moved by such a movie for months now. All I can say is Miracles do happen.

Moving on, I never thought it’s already August and yeah it came in a rush. There are a lot of changes I’d be expecting this August. One of which is moving to a new apartment and it’s beautiful. Haha! Also, I’m already on the morning shift and with a new team. :-). Well, so much for blogging - I’m at work! lol.

There’s more to August than just a rush!

After weeks of preparation and anticipation on June 27, 2008 we conquered Boracay. Besting all other teams at work - we soared high at number 1. 

Our flight was 10:30am Friday, July 27, 2008. We were on time for the flight’s check-in. Most of us just came from shift and we haven’t had any sleep at all but nevertheless we’re too excited to conquer the Island. The flight was not that boring with Cebu Pacific’s in-flight games and too bad I didn’t get any of the prices. Hahaha! Anyway, the flight took us to Caticlan Airport in just less than an hour. We took a tricycle to the Jetty Port and we were on our way to Boracay Island.

We settled our bags in Tirol and Tirol Beach Resort and went to D’ Talipapa for Lunch. Haha!

Friday night was a party.

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Work seems to be getting ahead of me lately. It has been a struggle for me to keep up with a lot of deliverables at work, not to mention my “pasaway” reps. But I know everything’s still okay. Well, after a few weeks of me being tested on troubled waters I am now moved to the early graveyard shift. It has been almost 2 months that I’m on the morning shift and this come Tuesday I’ll be on the 5pm shift with a new team. I guess I’d be comfortable with my new team because they were my teammates.

Anyway, it has been exactly 2 weeks today that I quit smoking and I’m so proud with the progress I’ve made. Lol. I just hope I’ll get through this long enough that sooner I’ll despise cigarettes. Hehehe….

I’m kinda busy right now… so let me just share an image sent by one my coleagues. I’m sure this image is kinda old for some but this really made me laugh my heart out…

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Here I am at work trying to contemplate what’ll happen in the next couple of weeks knowing that some our tenured supervisors are leaving. I couldn’t think straight at this very moment because of some things that needed to be done….We’ll I’d have to admit, the reason of my inability to think straight is because - I quit smoking!

It has been 6 days that I stopped smoking and it’s really hard. It was pretty drastic and I’m not feeling well as I write this. The last cigarette I had was last Friday and from then on I managed to resist the urge to light one again.  Now, I’m having difficulty breathing, my throat is both sore and dry, and I have this dry cough. I have trouble sleeping. I get easily irritated and headaches occur at random. I researched the web if these are common symptoms of Smoking Withdrawal and Yes they are. Just a few minutes ago a friend invited me for a Cigarette break - I didn’t show up! Although my friend was kinda upset but I guess it was the right thing for me to do. I explained the reason and she gave me  a kudos. I’m trying to forget how a cigarette taste like - I know I’m making progress.

I knew quitting wouldn’t be easy but I’m determined to get through this….